******************************************************
The Hebrew Geek Code - Version 2.5           7/14/95

An Example Hebrew Geek Code:
S+ Fa1 TM ng+ M K+ T t AT++ SY+=/SY+++ Te+ SC P+
FO++= D+ Tz++ E+ L- Am

-------------------------------------------------------
Qualifiers:    A&B     Means A and B
               A/B     Means ranging from A to B
-------------------------------------------------------


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Shabbat Observance

     S--- I stone people walking to shul on Shabbat
     S--  Of course.  Every Sunday!  
     S-   Not at all, or, "Shabbat - What's that?"
     S    Reform
     S+   Conservative, will drive to shul
     S++  Traditional, Orthodox
     S+++ I stone cars on Shabbat
 

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Shabbat Candles

     SC-   I don't use matches.  Only you can prevent forest fires.
     SC    Been there, done that.
     SC+   Every Shabbat.
     SC:(  I blow them out afterwards so that they last longer.
     SC++  I have been arrested for arson.
     SC+++ I have been convicted for arson.
          Add a 'W' for "My wife does that"
          Example:   SCW+, SCW ...


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Mishpacha (Family)

     Fa--      Intermarried - I sure do love Xmas!
     Fa-       Intermarried - but the children will be raised
               Jewish
     Fa.n/a    Not applicable.  I'm homosexual.
     Fa.gm     I'm gay AND I'm married.
     Fa1       Not married - Single          
     Fa+       I married a Jew.
     Fa++      I married more than two wives at once. 
               Only applicable for Yemenite Jews.  Sorry :)  

               ,c=#      Where # represents the number of
                         children you have.  Default = 0.

Examples: Fa1   Fa+   Fa+,c=1   Fa++,c=5

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Tohorot Mishpacha (Family Purity)

     TM-- I married a non-Jew, so this doesn't apply.
     TM-  I'm a pagan  :)
     TM   I'm mostly following the rules
     TM+  Traditional Orthodox
     TM++ My wife and I have separate houses


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
N'giah (Laws regarding touching a member of the opposite sex )

     Ng---  I touch a member of the opposite sex as much as possible
     Ng--   I try to observe it as much as possible, but I'm in the
            same cell as the arsonist.  (see the Shabbat candles
            category).
     Ng-    I am Shomer N'giah, but not by choice.
     Ng     Liberal N'giah -- only touch a consenting partner
     Ng+    Conservative N'giah -- only touch a consenting partner
            I love and plan to marry.
     Ng++   Orthodox N'giah -- Only touch my wife
     Ng+++  I plan to have children by artificial inseminantion.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Moshiach

     M--   He's already come.  Haven't you heard the Good Word?
     M-    Don't believe in it.
     M     Could be
     M+    Ani ma'ammim (I believe with perfect faith)
     M++   We want Moshiach now!
     M+++  Shabbatai Tzvi is Moshiach.
     M++++ I am Moshiach.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Kashrut

     K--  I only eat at McDonald's.  Also: What's kashrut?
     K-   Jewish in identity, not in practice.  Likely to eat ham
          and cheese, but will say a bracha afterwards
     K    Very liberal kosher.  Won't eat any Torah forbidden
          species, won't mix milk and meat.  Will eat eat meat of
          a permitted animal, even it not properly slaughtered.
     K+   Conservative.  Kashrut fully observed.  Two sets of
          dishes, etc.  Add appropriate strictures as necessary.
          If no codes are added, lenient options are default for K+
     K++  Orthodox kashrut.  Same as Conservative, but unless codes
          are added, the stricter options are assumed for K++
     K+++ Meshugge kosher.


               ch+  Will only eat Kosher cheese.
               ch   Will eat cheese without a hechsher.
               me+  Will only eat Glatt meat.
               me   Glatt not necessary.
               mi+  Will only drink Chalav Yisrael milk.
               mi   Will drink regular FDA approved milk.
               ge+  Won't eat gelatin, diglycerides, etc. unless
                    with an Orthodox hechsher.
               ge   Will eat gelatin, diglycerides, etc.
                    Considered pareve.
               wi+  Will only drink kosher wine.
               wi   Will drink without a hechsher.

Examples: K+   K++  K++,mi    k+,ch+


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Ivrit (Hebrew)

     H-   Is 'Jewish' a language?
     H    I went to Hebrew school. Shalom!
     H+   I even took it in college.
     H++  I'm not made fun of too badly by Israelis.
     H+++ Ani midaberet Ivrit tov Me'od, nu?

Substitute Yid for H to denote Yiddish familiarity.
Substitue Lad for H to denote Ladino familiarity.
 

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Talmud

     T--- I burn them whenever I get the chance.  (Note:  This
          category is especially useful for apostates like Torquemada.)
     T--  I'm a Karaite
     T-   Is that like Torah?
     T    Studied in Hebrew school / Hebrew High School
     T+   Studied in college or yeshiva; Competent to argue.
     T++  Talmud Chochem
     T+++  Adin Steinsaltz's chevruta.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Tribe

     t    Israel
     t+   Levi
     t++  Cohen
     t+++ Next in line to be the Cohen Gadol
     t?   Not sure (be real - this is most of us!)



=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Attendance at Shul.

     AT--   Religion is for dweebs!
     AT-    Only for other people's weddings and bar/bat mitzvahs.
     AT     Regularly!  (Well, every Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur,
            and I also had a Bar/Bat Mitzvah!
     AT+    High holidays, Shalosh Regalim (Three festivals), and
            occasional shabbats.
     AT++   I go on Shabbat.
     AT+++  And I lay Tefillin on weekdays
     AT++++ The Rabbi wants to institute a restraining order to
            keep me away!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
What type of shul do I got to?

     SY--   Jesus loves me, yes he does...
     SY-    Allah'hu Akbar!
     -SY    I don't go to shul
     SYrc   Reconstructionist
     SY     Reform
     SY+    Conservative (whatever that means)
     SY+=   Conservative egalitarian
     SYCh   Chavura
     SY++   UTJ/Traditional/Right wing Conservative
     SY+++  Orthodox
          SY+++M    Modern Orthodox, Centrist
          SY+++Y    Yeshish, Litvak, Right wing, Agudat Yisroel
          SY+++C    Chassidic


You can add the appropriate Nusach code shown in the next section. 
If you go to a shul that is different that your background, then just
add a comma after the shul type, and then add the background code.
If you don't put a code after the shul type, the default is Ashkenazi.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Nusach (What type of Jew am I? )

     A    Ashkenazi
     Az   Nusach HaAri  (This is a Ashkenazi Chassidic nusach,
          which is really a Sephardi nusach as modifed by Rav
          Shneur Zalman.)
     S    Sephardic (North African, Middle East)
     SE   Sephardic (European)
     SY   Sephardic (Yementite)
     SI   B'nai Yisrael (India)    
     ET   Beta Yisrael (Ethiopian)
                    
Examples:  SY+      SY+/A          SY+/A,SE       SY+,SE


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Tefillin (Phylacteries)

     Te-    What's that?  Is it good to eat?
     Te     I don't wear animal products, dude.
     Te+    Sure, sometimes.  Irregularly.
     Te++   Every day, or almost every day.  I'm a mensch!  :)
     Te+++     The doctors say if I don't taken them off soon,
               they'll have to amputate.
     Te.n/a    Not applicable, I'm a woman.
     Te!a      Of COURSE Teffilin is applicable for women!  Rashi's
               daughters wore them! (Add appropriate + or - )


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Pesach (Passover)

     P---   Happy Easter!
     P--    Mohammed says to celebrate Moses's birthday !
     P-     I refrain from bacon double cheeseburgers on Pesach.
            No bread at all!  My parents are sooo proud! 
     P      Yeah, I think I follow most of the rules.  Mostly.
     PC     Everything except for the part about "Pour out
            thy wrath"
     P+     Even the pet eats tuna and matzah-brei for a week
     P++    I start cleaning right after Hanukkah !
     P+++   Blowtorch the kitchen, buy new dishes every Spring
     P++++  Blowtorch the house, move every Spring (This ties in
            with that arson category of Shabbos candles).


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Festival Observance:

     FO---  Christmas Tree and Easter Eggs
     FO--   Chanukka Bush and Passover Candy Basket
     FO-    Secular home
     FO     Somewhat Traditional - add the following qualifiers
            as you find appropriate:

               s    Go to a seder
               m    Light the menorah.
               p    Make noise and drink on Purim.
               t    Dance on Simchat Torah
               su   Eat in a Sukka on Sukkot.
               sL   Can LEAD a Seder  :)
               co   Count the Omer
               hh   Go to High Holiday services.

     FO+      Full Observance - Reform
     FO++     Full Observance - Conservative and Traditional
              (Non-egalitarian)
     FO++=    Same as above, but egalitarian.
     FO+++    Strict Orthodox observance
     FO+++:(  Celebrate all festivals but Israel Independence Day,
              since Moshiach is not yet here.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Davening (praying) ability

     D--    I daven Gospel.
     D-     What's davening?
     D      I know when to stand, sit and bow.
     D+     I also know the Sh'ma and Kaddish by heart, and can
            somehow make it through most of the rest.
     D++    I can lead services
     D+++   I can also read Torah, Haftarah and Megillot
     D++++  and they'll invite me back a second time


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Tzedakah (Charity)

     Tz-       I'm a professional shnorrer.  Got a dollar?
     Tz        I give a few bucks - but not if it hurts! :(
     Tz+       I actually notice when I give.
     Tz++      Repeat donor to UJA, JNF, UW, or SPCA,  anything
               but the PLO.
     Tz+++     Give till it hurts.  A mensch.  :)
     Tz++++    I'm a Rothschild


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Egalitarianism Factor

     E--  Don't touch that with your bare hands, it's a female!
     E-   uh...if a man heard a woman's voice, he'd be so overcome
          with lustful thoughts he wouldn't be able to concentrate
          on his prayers...
     E    OK, OK, LET them wear tefillin and have women's prayer
          groups, just keep them behind the mechitza!  But they
          don't count in a minyan.
     E+   Women (who REALLY have taken on the obligations of tefila
          Tallit and Tefillin) can read Torah and count in minyans.
     E++  Any women (even without taking on the obligations) can
          count in a minyan.
     E+++   I only like women rabbis/ I AM a woman Rabbi /
            I married a woman Rabbi.
     E++++  I'm an ultraliberal lesbian Reconstructionist Rabbi.



=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Lashon Hora (Evil speech)

     L-----    I am Ricki Lake;  Lashon Hora is my job.
     L----     I am a talk show host.
     L---      I have appeared on a talk show and acted like
               a true weenie in front of millions of people.
     L--       I write for check-out counter tabloids.
     L-        I never speak Lashon Hora, but I'll tell you
               someone who does!
     L         If you don't have something nice to say, than
               don't say it.
     L+        I can recite parts of Rabbi Pliskin's "Guard
               Your tounge".  A true mensch.
     L++       The Chofetz Chaim is my inspiration.  I have his
               books, his commentaries, and the new interactive
               CD-ROM.
     L+++      I even refrained from criticising Intel's Pentium
               debacle.  A tzaddik.
               (Note:  People who choose this last option are
               high on morals, but possibly low on modesty)
     


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Modest Attire/Tzinout

(for women)

     Aw---  I love my bikini, I wear it everywhere.
     Aw--   ...except in Syngaogue.
     Aw-    I don't wear mini skirts if they are "Shatnez"
     Aw     Conventional American dress.
     Aw+    Modest Orthodox apparel.  I wear long sleeves, only
            dresses (no pants) and my hair is covered in public.
     Aw++   Real Haredi or Chassidc style dress.
     Aw+++  Even my husband doesn't know what I look like.


(for men)

     Am---  I love my thong.  I wear it everywhere.
     Am--   ...except in Synagogue.
     Am-    Sure I wear leather and studs sometimes - after all, its
            not Shatnez!
     Am     Conventional American dress.
     Am+    Hat (usually black) and dark suit.
     Am++   Real Haredi or Chassidic style dress.
     Am+++  I dress like a Cohen Gadol.  You know, just like that
            Vulcan High Priestess in the beginning of Star Trek: The
            Motion Picture.  (Really!  Leonard Nimoy had that based
            on the dress of a Cohen Gadol.  B'emet!)



=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
By Robert D. Kaiser                kaiser@pofvax.pnb.sunysb.edu
with contributions from

Michael Turniansky                 mt0013@epfl2.epflbalto.org

Jonathan and Woody Anna Dresner    dresner@ccy.yamaguchi-u.ac.jp

Wendy Morrison                     HMTRAD@aol.com
S/S+K+TM-MHTtSY+=AT+Te+SC   (D++++)

Johen Riehl

Yatzliakh Yisrael Abrahami         Yatz@intxtdoc.demon.co.uk

Aaron Gross                        aaron.g@ix.netcom.com

Rachel Marans                      msmarans@pluto.mscc.huji.ac.il

Joeseph W. Grayson                 jwg6@columbia.edu